Disclaimer:  I do not own Naruto, Tom Petty, the Heartbreakers, or "Free Falling" and I am making absolutely no profit off this lovely little tale of anguish and humor.  So stop reading the disclaimer and read the story!

Free Falling

My first mistake had probably been coming back.  You really never should go back to a place you left secretly in the dead of night two and a half years ago.   But I really needed cash and at the moment the only way to do that was to a) become a street performer, or b) sell the Uchiha tree house.  And since my only real talent is to betray my friends and rip off the signature moves off of superior shinobi I decided that the street performer life really wasn’t for me.  That and the fact that small children, heck anyone, tends to cry when they see someone like me juggling sharp, pointy objects.  So it was back to Konoha we go.

My second mistake was calling up Haruno Sakura.  I figured she was madly in love with me when I left, so she would probably let me stay at her house while I tried to sell mine.  So I found myself a payphone and dialed her number.

"Hello," said a female voice.

"Hello, Sakura?  It’s Sasuke.  Remember me?"  Her side of the line was silent for a few seconds.

"I wish I didn’t.  Why are you calling me now?  We haven’t communicated for two and a half years."

"Well, I’m trying to sell my old house and I need someone to stay with until I find a buyer.  May I stay with you?"

"Where are you?" she asked after seventeen seconds.

"I’m at the corner of Sarutobi Row and Ventura Boulevard."

"I’ll be there in ten minutes."

                                     She’s a good girl
Loves her mama
Loves Jesus
And America, too
  
Sure enough in ten minutes Sakura was there, always punctual, always true to her word.
  
"Hi, Sasuke.  You look awful."

Now I thought that was kind of rude, considering that I had just combed my hair last week, but I guess she doesn’t like the giant rope around the waist look.

"Stop standing there and get in the car already."

I had momentarily zoned out.

"Sure, Sakura.  Thank you."

I don’t know if it was just my imagination or if she stiffened slightly at those words.

"Just get in."

I opened the door to the passenger side as she slid her key into the ignition.  I was about to sit down, but there was I stuffed horse in the seat.  I picked it up by the leg in disdain, then slid into the car.

"What’s this, Sakura?  Still playing with dolls?"

She snatched the horse away from me in anger and held it to her chest.

"Stop being such a jerk, Sasuke!  Don’t hurt Presley, Lee gave him to me!"

Apparently she and Lee were a little bit closer now.  We pulled out of the parking spot and sped down the road, Tom Petty blaring from the speakers.

She’s a good girl
Crazy ‘ bout Elvis
Loves horses
And her boyfriend, too

After a few minutes I noticed something rather obvious.

"Sakura, isn’t your house the other way?  Did you move?"

"Sasuke, I don’t have time for stupid questions.  We need to make a quick stop and we better not take too long because I have a date tonight."

"Oh Sakura, I’m really too tired to go out tonight.  Do we have to?"

"Not with you, you conceited jerk!  With Lee, it’s our two year anniversary."

Her hands trembled on the wheel and she bit her lower lip.  She was angry, who knew why, she’s so unreadable.

It’s a long day living in Reseda
Got a freeway running through the yard
And I’m a bad boy, ‘cause I don’t even miss her
And I’m a bad boy for breaking her heart

But somehow I didn’t care that she was angry; it made me happy that I could still control her emotions with only a few words.  Lee may have the key to her heart, but I have and always will have the ability to make her tick.

And I’m free falling
Now I’m free falling
Free falling, now I’m free falling
Free falling

"Sasuke, I don’t know why you felt you had to ask me for help.  Out of all the people in Konoha, I’m probably the one who hated you the most for leaving.  You tore me to pieces when you left; you sucked the life out of me.  And what you did to Naruto…  How could you?"

I sat there in smug silence.  It drove her nuts, just like it used to.  I still had the upper hand.

"Sasuke, you tore me to pieces when you left and it took Lee six months even to begin to put me back together!  After two years I was finally healed, then you had to come and show up again!  Why, huh?  Tell me why!  Don’t you have something better to be doing than selling your house?  Like killing Itachi, or ripping some innocent young girl’s heart to bits?"

I was still silent.  Big mistake.  Wherever we had been going before, she took a U-turn then drove down a dirt road, sending dust flying behind us.

All the vampires walkin’ through the valley
Head west down Ventura Boulevard
And all the bad boys are standing in the shadows
And the good girls are home with broken hearts

After half an hour of fast, silent driving we pulled up in front of that old rundown shack with the plane behind it.  The sign, though peeling, still read B.J.’ Skywriting and Extermination.  It was that old place where Lee and I had had that skywriting done so long ago.  (A/N: B.J.’ Skywriting and Extermination is not a real place in Konoha.  To loyal Hugs Lee 13 fans, B.J. and his business are first mentioned in "In Which Lee Repeatedly Falls Flat on His Face".  If you haven’t read it you should.)

"Sakura, what is there here that you need to get?"

"Closure."

"Huh?"

B.J. was gone; there was a note on his desk that said ‘Gone fishing’.  Sakura grabbed a bunch of keys and my arm.

"Come on, baka."

Training with Tsunade had made her strong; she practically pulled my arm out of its socket dragging me to the plane.  It was a little six-seater plane.  She shoved me into the back, then climbed into the front and began messing about with the controls.  Apparently she had her pilot’s license now.  I sat in the back, looking for something to strap myself in with, but all the seats had been ripped out.  Sakura finally got the plane into the air and steered it over the forest.  Once she had gotten enough altitude, she put the plane on auto-pilot and climbed back into the back.

"Come here, Sasuke," she said to me more gently now.  I walked over to where she stood by the door.  "I was thinking during the drive, maybe we should just start over, like nothing ever happened between us."

"How do you plan to do that?" I asked, mocking her with my tone.

Her face grew red and she grabbed me by the arm and by the scruff of my neck.

"Like this?"

And she pulled open the door and threw me out.

"Bye Sasuke!" she yelled out sweetly, "Thanks for my heart back!"

  And I’m free falling,
Now I’m free falling
Free falling, now I’m free falling
Free falling!

I guess everyone was right.  My deeds had finally caught up to me and I wished I had done everything differently.  For one thing I wished I had called Naruto to come get me instead of Sakura.  I had forgotten how temperamental she was.

I looked down.  The ground was getting closer and closer.  "That does not look good."

Wanna black out over Moholland
Wanna write her name in the sky

Gonna free fall out into nothing
Gonna leave this world for awhile.

I awoke a little bit later in the middle of a fenced in field.  The grass was long and straggly weeds grew everywhere.  There was an old square brick building with a yellow door and algae covered steps looked as if it had been burned.  As I looked up I saw two girls about my age run over.  Perfect, I thought, fan girls.  I can manipulate them into helping me.  As they drew near I could see them clearly.  The taller one had straight blond hair so yellow it was almost white.  Her face was flushed pink from running. (A/N: Sorry, byakuhana.  I had to.)    The girl next to her was a good three inches shorter and held a brick in her hand.  She had long brown hair and her eyes were outlined with almost as much eyeliner as Gaara’s.

"Dude, is it Troy?" asked the brunette with the brick.

"What would Troy be doing falling out of the sky, baka?"

"What would anyone be doing falling out of the sky?" the brunette shot back.

It was time for me to use my manly charms.  "Hey, ladies.  I’m Uchiha Sasuke.  Can you lend me a hand?"

"Sasuke!" yelled the blond.

Here it comes, I thought, they’re going to mob me and shower me with adoration… Yes, it’s working!

"Kill him!" yelled the brunette.

"Crap…"